Flying Spaghetti Monster
Flying Spaghetti Monster Wiki
Not everyone knows the flying spaghetti monster but for everyone who is lazy to say “flying spaghetti monster” you can use FSM. The FSM is used as a satirical deity by the church of the flying monster. The church of the flying monster’s objective is to promote Pastafarianism. It was founded by Bobby Henderson when he sent a letter to the Kansas State Board of Education to go against the belief of the intelligent design.
The “Creation” Belief of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The universe was created when the spaghetti monster was drunk. The FSM was intoxicated and then the planet Earth was created. Everyone knows the evolution theory but according to the church of the flying spaghetti monster, the evidences were placed on earth by the FSM in order to test the beliefs of the Pastafarians. The alterations and interventions were done by the spaghetti monster even before the radio carbon dating was taken. The pastafarians also believes in heaven and hell. Heaven has a factory that produces strippers and a volcano that oozes unlimited supply of beer. Hell also has a factory that produces strippers and a volcano that oozes unlimited supply of beer but the beer is not good and it is stale and the strippers produced by the factory have diseases particularly STD.
The “I’d really rather you Didn’ts”
If the other religions have Ten Commandments to follow, the church of the flying spaghetti monster also has their version of the commandments and they call it “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”. The story behind the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” got together as written in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster started when a faithful pastafarian named Mosey the Pirate got tablets from the FSM as an advice. There were originally ten tablets but on Mosey’s way down the mountain where he was given the tablets, two fell down which is why the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” that is still recorded is now only eight.
The First Pastafarians
Believe it or not, the first pastafarians were the pirates. But they are not like the pirates nowadays who are known as outcasts or unaccepted by the society and the thieves, the first pastafarian pirates were generous and kind. They gave candy to children all over the world. These pirates were ambassadors of goodwill and they were hippies, they loved spreading peace throughout the world. The belief that pirates are thieves and unaccepted during the middle ages is a misconception. These buccaneers are really fun loving unlike the pirates nowadays. Ghost pirates are the reason behind shipwrecked pirates, lost ships and planes in the Bermuda Triangle during the old ages according to the beliefs of Pastafarianism.
The Cause of Natural Disasters
Nowadays, global warming, climate change, flash floods, the greenhouse effect, hurricanes, earthquakes, landslides, forest fires and many other natural disasters are very rampant. According to the belief of Pastafarians, these are the results of the diminishing number of the fun- loving pirates and the deterioration of Pastafarians ever since the 17th century.
This is the chart of the relationship of the mean temperature of the earth and the population of pirates. As you can see, the mean temperature is greater because there are so little pastafarians and pirates in the world nowadays.
Natural Disasters are not only the effect of the deteriorating population of pirates and pastafarians; another effect of the diminishing believers of the flying spaghetti monster also caused the world issues just like poverty, wars and many more. Somalia has the lowest number of emissions of carbon in the whole world. This is because most of the pastafarians and pirates came from Somalia.
The Holidays Celebrated by the Pastafarians
Just like any other religion, the Pastafarians also has a holy day and they celebrate it every Friday. They have a special affirmation declaration when they are praying because unlike any other religions who use “amen” as an affirmation, they use “ramen”. Yes, ramen as in the instant noodles of the college students during Friday nights.
The church of the flying monster rejects formalism and dogma which is why the holidays of the Pastafarians have no specific and exact date. They celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Christmas but hey call them Holiday and Holidays are celebrated anytime and in any way pastafarians want because the church of the flying monster does not have traditions. Pastafarians also has their version of the Christians’ Passover and the Muslim’s Ramadan; these holidays of the pastafarians are the only ones with names they call them “Pastover” and “Ramendan”. Ramendan is celebrated at the period from the 31st day of July to the 29th day of August every year and it is the period when pastafarians only eat ramen in order to feel the pain of college students who can only afford to eat Ramen every meal. During Hanukkah and Christmas, other people in other religion use the greetings “Happy Hanukkah” and “Merry Christmas” but pastafarians use the generic “Happy Holidays” to greet people in any holiday. There is also the “International Talk like a Pirate Day” that is celebrated by the Pastafarians during the 29th day of September every year.
The Books of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Other religions use the Bible or the Quran because the scriptures define their faith and they believe that these have the messages of their God. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster also has their version of the Bible or the Quran but they call it “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”. In 2005, Bobby Henderson was asked to make “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” by Villard Books and he was given a staggering US $80,000. This book is the written version of all the pastafarians’ beliefs. As written in the letter sent to the Kansas Board of Education. It elaborates the different beliefs of the church of the flying spaghetti monster and this mainly focuses on the creationism. It encourages people to try the religion for 30 days because if they still won’t believe it, their previous religion will probably accept them again. The book also has written tips and criteria on how a pastafarian can go to the heaven that pastafarians believe in. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has sold 100,000 copies or even more worldwide. It was released on the 18th day of March in the year 2006.
Another holy book of the pastafarians is called The Loose Cannon. It is compilation of all the texts from the Pastafarians. It is composed of suggestions from the Pastafarians in order to revise and make a better version of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This was the version that the pastafarians made before they received the actual scriptures by Bobby Henderson.
The Subsectors of the Church of the Flying Monster
There are sectors of this church that were made because of variation in the beliefs. Some sectors such as the Tifrons and the Pofrons believe that the flying spaghetti monster is composed of three separate divine beings which are the Meatballs, the Pasta and the Holy Sauce. Other sectors believe that the flying spaghetti monster is a misconception of the flying macaroni monster. The flying macaroni monster is the superior deity excluding the spaghetti o’s and the raviolis. The misconception is caused by the different interferences by others. Another sector known in New York or New England is called the Fusilli because they believe that the flying spaghetti monster is actually the flying fusilli monster that they call the “One True God”. This sector believes that the cork screw shape of the fusilli enables their deity to throw living creatures to the Earth and it also represents the pirates because a cork screw was important for them to open beverages. A sector believes that Captain Jack Sparrow is a prophet of Pastafarianism and this sector is called Sparrowism. Traditional pastafarians are often on the Orthodox Pastafarian Church. Other variations in the beliefs of the sectors include the number of beings the flying spaghetti monster has, the use of seatbelts are immoral, the mountain in Guam where the FSM wants to receive sacrifices, the school should teach pastafarianism for 50 hours for every hour they tackle about heresies of this faith, the immorality of security checks at the airport, pastafarians should where the attire that reflects the flying spaghetti monster when praying and many more. There are also a lot more different sectors of pastafarians in the whole world.
The Church of the Flying Monster, The Holidays, The Ramendan, The Pastover and The Gospel of the Flying Monster are parodies of religions and its main objective is to make the people see the absurdity of intelligent design. Other people think that it is a mock of Christianity but overall, its intention was to make the Kansas State Board of Education open their eyes and see that intelligent design should not be part of the schools’ curriculum on the state of Kansas.